“Do you want Jesus to shit on you?”

Wishing you a nice Sunday, with this classic Cheech & Chong skit from 1978.

Writers, Thinkers

*sigh* As if we needed any more examples of how some great writers may not be great thinkers…but anyway, here is a recent one. Wole Soyinka, the great Nigerian playwright, has dropped a couple of remarks in a recent interview, but this one took the cake:

“And yet England allows it. Remember, that country was the breeding ground for communism, too. Karl Marx did all his work in libraries there …”

Know Your Meme: Om Nom Nom

Here are the other episodes of Know your meme. Have fun.

Cold Toes

Yeah. No new review today. I’ve written one but it’s shite. So I’ll take the opportunity to proclaim my adoration for a youtube user called mytoecold, who posts all kinds of things, some of which are great, some of which aren’t but he’s always amusing. That kid is what, 16? Have I done this sort of thing at 16 (yeah no youtube then, but still)? Here are three videos, one is a piece of, um, criticism, discussing a song by Metro Station and one (the one with the HOT DATE) is a bit of standalone madness. The third (Boy or Girl) is just brilliant in all sorts of ways. Really. Watch his videos.

Hurtwords

Whoa. Amazing blog. My First Dictionary. Here’s the entry for “bide”: and here’s the one for “proud”.

"Germany is a Toilet"

Dylan Moran has a few valuable insights.

Orient-Ation

This great rumination on xkcd:

Paging Kulla! Paging Kulla!

Eine Runde Entschwörung bitte. Eine der durchgeknalltesten Verschwörungstheorien von denen ich in letzter Zeit gehört habe, die sich insofern von vielen klassischen Theorien unterscheidet, daß sie, jedenfalls in dieser Darstellung, als positive Chance zur Systemveränderung von oben gesehen wird. Wozu diese miese fiese Krise doch so alles gut ist. Hier ist der link zu der Kompletterklärung, und hier ein Ausschnitt:

Wegen der enorm durchgreifenden Änderungen, welche die Richtersprüche erfordern, wurde eine extrem strikte Schweigeverpflichtung über jeden verhängt, der direkt damit zu tun hatte, und die Aufzeichnungen des Gerichtsfalles sind versiegelt, bis nachdem die Reformen zustande gebracht sind. Um die Geheimhaltung aufrecht zu erhalten, wurden die Falldetails für die Prozesslistennummer, die an den Farmers Union-Fall ausgegeben worden war, verändert, so dass eine Suche nach diesem Fall fehlschlagen und nicht die korrekte Information ergeben würde, bis nachdem die Reformen publik gemacht sind. Bei jedem Schritt des Vorganges ist jeder, der direkt damit zu tun hat, verpflichtet worden, eine Zustimmungs-Erklärung zu unterzeichnen, die Vorgehensweise des obersten US-Gerichtshofes für die Durchführung der erforderten Reformen “geheim” zu halten, oder Anklagen wegen Hochverrat zu konfrontieren, worauf in Amerika die Todesstrafe steht. Um die geforderten Reformen praktisch einzuführen, verbrachten die fünf Richter Jahre damit, Zustimmungserklärungen darüber auszuhandeln, wie die Reformen stattzufinden haben, mit der US-Regierung, mit den Eigentümern der Federal Reserve-Bank, mit dem internationalen Währungsfond, mit der Weltbank, und mit zahlreichen anderen Ländern, einschließlich Großbritannien und Ländern der Eurozone. Die Reformen der US-Banken erfordern, dass das Federal Reserve-Bankensystem in das US-Finanzministerium integriert wird, und dass die betrügerischen Aktivitäten dieser Bank gestoppt werden, ebenso wie Entschädigungen an US-Bürger für vergangene Schädigungen durch Regierung und Banken. Die US-Banken-Reformen werden sich auf die gesamte Welt auswirken, und deshalb mussten der IWF, die Weltbank und andere Länder mit einbezogen werden.

Da die Vorgehensweise für die praktische Durchführung der Reformen nicht erfolgreich war, autorisierten die Richter, die Reformationen in die Form eines Gesetzes zu bringen, mit dem Namen National-ökonomische Sicherungs- und Reform-Akte (NESARA), welches geheim am 9. März 2000 unter der Clinton-Regierung verabschiedet wurde. Die Geheimhaltung wurde wieder durch die Abänderung der offiziellen Aufzeichnungen aufrecht erhalten; Details der Gesetzesentwurfs-Nummer für NESARA wurden abgeändert, um Erinnerungs-Merkmale abzuwehren, und sie wurden in jüngerer Zeit nochmals abgeändert. Die Mitglieder des Kongresses sind durch die obersten US-Gerichtshof-Richter angewiesen worden, die Existenz von NESARA “abzustreiten”. Deshalb tun alle Mitglieder des Kongresses so, als ob NESARA nicht verabschiedet sei, um die Schweigeverpflichtung der Richter zu befolgen.

Why I try to cut down my comments at other blogs

This painful truth about guys like me at xkcd:

Verwirrung am Markt

Zu einem schreiend komischen Interview mit dem Haushaltsexperten der FDP-Bundestagsfraktion, Jürgen Koppelin, (lesenswert), schreibt Sebastian bei alarmschrei

Andererseits stelle man sich mal vor, es ist Markt, und keiner kommt hin. Ich werde mich jedenfalls demnächst nicht mehr über »Der Straßenverkehr läuft wie geschmiert, die Leute fahren nur wie Sau«, »Die Artenvielfalt ist nicht bedroht, die Viecher sterben einfach weg« und »Der Krieg ist sauber, es sind die Generäle, die den Arsch offen haben« wundern.

Und dabei kann man den Markt jedenfalls teils tatsächlich verteidigen, die subprime loans waren ja echt nicht ein Problem des Marktes (der ganze andere Mist aber schon), aber dazu kommt Herr Koppelin in seinem überforderten Köpfchen nicht mehr. (via)

Literary Criticism

Another great strip @xkcd:

The mouseover says: “I’m looking at you, Anathem”

Boy am I looking forward to reading that brick of a book. It’s sitting on the shelf watching me, to pounce on any bit of unguarded spare time.

Well put.

An older strip @ xkcd. As usual, click on picture to enlarge to readable size.

Postmodern Pancakery

xkcd delivers the best parody of House of Leaves I’ve ever read. Click on picture to enlarge. Hilarious.

Tous leurs trémolos

This @ xkcd:

There is a followup discussion @ the Bremer Sprachblog, which googlesearches for Gender differences. The results look pretty interesting but they aren’t really, as they could mean anything, depending on the premises. As the Bremer Sprachblog has not, apparently, invested time and effort into transforming the results into something truly interesting, and my own pitiful self does not have the time to do it, I will not post the graphs, since they will, at best, be misleading. Can’t really say why I mentioned them at all. Well. What’s done is done. (via)

Brookovich

The gorgeous M. Liberman is angered by David Brooks again and writes a hilarious putdown:

The relation between Brooks’ column and the facts inspired me to model my discussion after the Radio Yerevan jokes that arose in the Soviet Union as a way to mock the pathetically transparent spin of the Soviet media:

Question to Radio Yerevan: Is it correct that Grigori Grigorievich Grigoriev won a luxury car at the All-Union Championship in Moscow?

Answer: In principle, yes. But first of all it was not Grigori Grigorievich Grigoriev, but Vassili Vassilievich Vassiliev; second, it was not at the All-Union Championship in Moscow, but at a Collective Farm Sports Festival in Smolensk; third, it was not a car, but a bicycle; and fourth he didn’t win it, but rather it was stolen from him.

Do read the whole piece. It’s less hilarious but instructive, and, as always, very much worth reading.

Friends

No

A recent strip @ xkcd is wrong. The mouseover refers the reader to the wiki article on Deconstruction. If you don’t understand something try understanding it before you mock it, please. As always, click on picture to enlarge.

via

"Er trägt das typische Emo-Tuch, Pali genannt"

Keeping Count

Producer‘s comment:

the notch in the bedpost for the digital age!

via nerdapproved via jezebel

Kommentar der Woche

Neulich beim Kulla in der Eckkneipe

warum nur müssen immer die hirnlosesten und faulsten, regressivsten spinner sich auslassen über die verwirklichung von vernünftigen gesellschaftlichen konzepten? während sie doch selber meistens schon mit dem managen eines legasthenischen internetblogs ihre schwierigkeiten haben.

Best insult ever (Call it Baduism)

Erykah Badu sez

and if this post is not clear
kiss my placenta.

Cartoons once again (2)

Washinton Post

If something satirical isn’t working for you, no matter how many times someone unpacks and analyzes it, the joke won’t suddenly become funny.

And if the satire isn’t carefully calibrated to a target audience, then it will almost assuredly be remembered for its offensiveness rather than its supposedly palliative effect on the body politic.

Cartoons once again (1)

How to respond to something like the recent New Yorker cartoon? Gawker has the answer:

Were you confused when you woke up Monday and some members of the elite were outraged about something and other members of the elite were not outraged? Internicene elitist warfare! Confusing! If you were like everyone on the internet, your reaction to that New Yorker cover satirizing the rumors about the Obamas went through five steps, from shock on Sunday to acceptance earlier this afternoon.

Read the whole thing here

Fun with Etymology

This @ the language log is hilarious

Adrian Morgan pointed out to me a Usenet comment in which someone says of some course of action that it “can hardly be a sane policy for anyone who is not evincing signs of heading distinctly dagenham”. In this context dagenham is apparently to be taken as a synonym for “insane”, by a rather devious etymological route. Dagenham is a town in Essex, England. On the District Line of the London Underground, Dagenham is three stops beyond the town of Barking (after Barking are Upney, Becontree, Dagenham Heathway, and Dagenham East). To be barking mad is to be crazy; and being dagenham is therefore being three steps beyond barking.

"Spiritually Uplifting Activities" – George Carlin R.I.P.

A great comedian has passed away, probably resting on a roof as we talk.
Frisbeeanism rules.

stuff white people like: knowing what’s best for poor people

Stuff White People Like:
#62 Knowing what’s best for poor people

White people spend a lot of time of worrying about poor people. It takes up a pretty significant portion of their day.

They feel guilty and sad that poor people shop at Wal*Mart instead of Whole Foods, that they vote Republican instead of Democratic, that they go to Community College/get a job instead of studying art at a University.

It is a poorly guarded secret that, deep down, white people believe if given money and education that all poor people would be EXACTLY like them. In fact, the only reason that poor people make the choices they do is because they have not been given the means to make the right choices and care about the right things.

stuff white people like: grammar

Stuff White People Like
#99 Grammar

White people love rules. It explains why so they get upset when people cut in line, why they tip so religiously and why they become lawyers. But without a doubt, the rule system that white people love the most is grammar. It is in their blood not only to use perfect grammar but also to spend significant portions of time pointing out the errors of others.

Unsullied by the Baseness of the Quotidian

Funny comic @ xkcd

"Israeli-produced, concentration camp fetish-porn paperbacks"

Haven’t seen this movie yet but doesn’t this sound fascinating? I can’t wait to see it.

This is a documentary on the bizarre phenomenon of Israeli-produced, concentration camp fetish-porn paperbacks.

[...]

According to interviewees in the film, because of the understandable hesitancy of survivors (and perpetrators) to talk about what went on in these camps in the immediate post-war period, rumor, fantasy, and just plain kink swept in to fill the void.

The earliest “Stalags” (as the genre is called because nearly all have the word in the title) took their cover illustrations from American men’s magazines. The plots all followed a similar pattern: an American or British pilot is shot down behind German lines, he’s imprisoned in a camp run by female Amazonian SS officers who rape and torture him. He eventually turns the tables, rapes and kills his captors, then escapes to tell the tale (the stalags all claim to be translations of first person accounts, though there were never any female officers in the SS).

The books were massive sellers and seemed to fill a basic need to reclaim the power role through fantasy while simultaneously capturing a curious self-loathing (sublimated by casting a rugged Allie pilot in the central role). They were advertised side by side with newspaper accounts of the Eichmann trial and were frequently the first erotica seen by Israeli adolescents. After a prolific two-year period, the books were judged obscene and banned from sale.

[...]

The comparison of the underground and overground dissemination of fetishized history is both instructive and disturbing.

Hasenlieder

HASENLIED #1

Der Hase ist ein kleines Tier,
kleiner als ich, kleiner als ihr.

Er mümmelt süß den ganzen Tag
weil er das Mümmeln gerne mag.

Oh nun schau her:
jetzt blinzelt er!

NIESEHASE

Auf einer Wiese liegt ein Hase
der hat eine große Nase.

Wegen dieser riesen Nase
heißt er großer Niesehase,

denn streift ihn mal ein Gräschen
an seinem kleinen Näschen,

dann muss er so fürchterlich niesen,
dass alle Jäger auf ihn schießen,

doch er entkommt ja immer wieder
und singt im Gras laut Häschenlieder.

FRIEREHASE

Der müde kleine Frierehase
hat eine rote Frierenase.
Bald ist er tot dann hat er Ruh,
dann macht er schnell die Äuglein zu.

WINTERHASE

In dem großen Häschenwald
ist es heute bitterkalt.

Der Hase friert und zittert sehr:
für ihn muß eine Decke her!

Ein bißchen Sonne bitte auch
auf seinen kleinen Häschenbauch!

Und der Winter dräut und droht:
das Häschen ist nun sehr in Not.

Doch schau! mit einem Sonnenrest
macht es sich ein warmes Nest.

SCHNEEHASE

Im Schnee spielt gern das kleine Häschen
steckt sich ein Mörchen in das Näschen
Es trägt dazu nen schwarzen Hut:
so geht es dem Häschen gut.

NASENDIEBSTAHL

Im Grase liegt der Hase
völlig ohne Nase.

Denn jetzt hat der Nasenmann
des Hasens süße Nase an.

Traurig liegt -ganz ohne Nase-
im nassen Gras der arme Hase.

How many Cannibals could yr Body feed?

Created by OnePlusYou

Exaggeration of the Year

It’s Endangered Languages Week, and even though I can see there’s a certain urgency to it all, this is way exaggerated and can’t be much help, can it.

What happens if we do not reduce our language footprints?
[...] If we are not successful, the result will be even more serious than global warming; everyone will lose the opportunity to take part in mankind’s cultural heritage because most of humanity’s accumulated knowledge of history and the planet will be erased forever.

(via)

"McNasty"

Maureen Dowd on McCain

John McCain’s saucy mother says her boy was always a scamp and a hell-raiser. And one of the senator’s great charms is that he wore those appellations proudly.

So it was quite disheartening Thursday to see a McCain spokeswoman telling The Associated Press, in a story about how Cindy McCain helped her husband’s political career bloom with her multimillion-dollar fortune from the family beer business, that the senator is a virtual teetotaler.

“Senator McCain rarely, if ever, drinks alcohol,” Jill Hazelbaker averred.

McCain’s pals know him as a man who enjoys libations of vodka with little green cocktail olives. Over the years, at dinners with reporters, I noted he had the habit of ordering one double vodka and sipping it slowly. And there was that famous Hillary-McCain Estonian drink-off in 2004, when Hillary instigated a vodka shot contest and McCain agreed with alacrity (even though he later offered a sketchy denial).

Maybe now that he’s the presumptive Republican nominee, his campaign wants to put his vices in a vise and sanitize the wild side of the man whose nicknames in high school were “Punk,” “Nasty” and “McNasty.”

*cracking up*

Göttin

Was für ein großartiger Ortsname. Siehe

Am äußersten nordwestlichen Zipfel erreicht man Göttin mit seinen 14 Häusern. Göttin ist geprägt von Ackerbau und Fischfang.

(via)

What kind of Anarchist are You?

What kind of Anarchist are you? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Anarcha-Feminist Anarcha-feminists put a strong emphasis on the importance of patriachy, arguing that all forms of hierachy can be traced back to man’s domination over woman. Although associated with the 1960s, the movement has its roots in the theories of Emma Goldman and Voltarine DeCleyre. Anarcha-Feminist 60% Anarcho-Capitalist 40% Anarcho-Syndicalist 35% Anarcho-Communist 35% Christian Anarchist 5% Anarcho-Primitivist 0%

stuff white people like: irony

Stuff White People Like:
# 50 Irony.

White people hate a lot of stuff (white people who vote republican, television, Vin Diesel movies, SUVs, fast food) but every once in a while they turn that hate into sweet irony.

Labeling

Racist objet trouvé

When the new chocolate-coloured sofa set was delivered to her Brampton home, Doris Moore was stunned to see packing labels describing the shade as “Nigger-brown.”

She and husband Douglas purchased a sofa, loveseat and chair in dark brown leather last week from Vanaik Furniture and Mattress store on Dundas St. E.

Moore, 30, who describes herself as an African-American born and raised in New York, said it was her 7-year-old daughter who pointed out the label just after delivery men from the Mississauga furniture store left.

“She’s very curious and she started reading the labels,” Moore explained. “She said, `Mommy, what is nig … ger brown?’ I went over and just couldn’t believe my eyes.”

She said yesterday each piece had a similar label affixed to the woven protective covering wrapped around the furniture.

“In this day and age, that’s totally unacceptable,” Moore said.

Douglas explained the origins of the word to daughter Olivia, telling how it was a bad name that blacks were called during the days of slavery in the United States.

“It was tough, because she really didn’t understand,” Moore said. “She’d never heard that word before and didn’t really understand the concept of it.”

Moore, who has a younger son and daughter, said she’s heard the word used many times, although it has never been directed in anger at her.

“But it’s a very, very bad word that makes you feel degraded, like you’re a nobody,” she said.

[...]

Moore said she’s not sure she wants the sofa set in her home.

Labeling

Racist objet trouvé

When the new chocolate-coloured sofa set was delivered to her Brampton home, Doris Moore was stunned to see packing labels describing the shade as “Nigger-brown.”

She and husband Douglas purchased a sofa, loveseat and chair in dark brown leather last week from Vanaik Furniture and Mattress store on Dundas St. E.

Moore, 30, who describes herself as an African-American born and raised in New York, said it was her 7-year-old daughter who pointed out the label just after delivery men from the Mississauga furniture store left.

“She’s very curious and she started reading the labels,” Moore explained. “She said, `Mommy, what is nig … ger brown?’ I went over and just couldn’t believe my eyes.”

She said yesterday each piece had a similar label affixed to the woven protective covering wrapped around the furniture.

“In this day and age, that’s totally unacceptable,” Moore said.

Douglas explained the origins of the word to daughter Olivia, telling how it was a bad name that blacks were called during the days of slavery in the United States.

“It was tough, because she really didn’t understand,” Moore said. “She’d never heard that word before and didn’t really understand the concept of it.”

Moore, who has a younger son and daughter, said she’s heard the word used many times, although it has never been directed in anger at her.

“But it’s a very, very bad word that makes you feel degraded, like you’re a nobody,” she said.

[...]

Moore said she’s not sure she wants the sofa set in her home.

Diagnosis

Great cartoon on xkcd .

(via)

Warning! Drinking may cause absurd theories!

Well, well. Susan Jacoby, who wrote a book on the pride many Americans (let me assure you, many Germans do so, too. I can provide several really hilarious links if you’d like some) take in being and staying ignorant (although she kinda does not listen to her own advice). Interestingly, some posts lately on the Log talked about an amazingly brazen book on linguistics. The book’s called The Secret History of the English Language and its claims are preposterous, no, beyond preposterous, and they seem to be based on that little helper of American (hell, german, too) ignorance: so-called common sense. Sketching briefly (anything in a 199 page language HISTORY will, of necessity, be brief) the accepted history of the English language, apparently he then dismisses it as implausible and proceeds to claim that in fact, English developed into French, which developed into Provençal, which developed into Italian. And then the log quoted a bit of the most outrageous claim of them all: that Italian merchants then invented Latin.

Fortunately, there’s a much more reasonable explanation that meets all the facts: Latin is not a natural language. When written, Latin takes up approximately half the space of written Italian or written French (or written English, German, or any natural European language). Since Latin appears to have come into existence in the first half of the first millennium BC, which was the time when alphabets were first spreading through the Mediterranean basin, it seems a reasonable working hypothesis to assume that Latin was originally a shorthand compiled by Italian speakers for the purposes of written (confidential? commercial?) communication.

That’s very funny, but the book and its predecessor have been praised (see the first of the two log links above). Apparently making a bold claim in an “age of unreason”, based on so-called common sense, is enough to sway a significant portion of the public. If you are now sulky, here’s something funny to lighten your mood: Marc Liberman at the Log had this hypothesis to share:

My own hypothesis is that the whole thing was written over a drunken weekend, to win a bar bet:

Harper: It’s unbelievable, my friend. No one knows anything anymore. Not anything worth knowing.
Drinking buddy: Oh come now. The general level of education has never been higher.
Harper: Not among the so-called intellectual classes, the idiots that publish and
review and buy books. Why, I bet I could write a little tract arguing that French is historically derived from English, and not only get it published, but sell ten times more copies than your last laboriously-researched academic tome.
DB: French derived from English? You’re not serious. You might as well argue that Latin was derived from Italian. Everyone knows that’s impossible.
Harper: You don’t understand — no one knows anything, not anything that’ll stand up to an authoritative poke in an anti-authoritarian voice. Hell, give me a typical modern humanist, and I can make her believe that Latin was invented by Italian speakers as a form of commercial shorthand. Or at least make her accept the idea as an interesting hypothesis.
DB: Latin a shorthand form of Italian? A hundred pounds says no reputable publisher will put it out, unless you frame it as a burlesque.
Harper: Oh, it’ll be serious, believe me. You’re on for that hundred quid. And how about a side bet on how many copies I sell?

Cute Animal Quiz!

You Are A: Kitten!

Cute as can be, kittens are playful, mischevious, and ever-curious. Your mischevious side is part of what makes you a kitten, as is your dislike of getting wet! Kittens are often loving, but are known to scratch or bite when annoyed. These adorable animals are the most popular pets in the United States–37% of American households have at least one cat. Whether it is your gentle purr or your disarming appearance, you make a wonderful kitten.

You were almost a: Bear Cub or a Monkey
You are least like a: Chipmunk or a DucklingWhat Cute Animal Are You?

Cute Animal Quiz!

You Are A: Kitten!

Cute as can be, kittens are playful, mischevious, and ever-curious. Your mischevious side is part of what makes you a kitten, as is your dislike of getting wet! Kittens are often loving, but are known to scratch or bite when annoyed. These adorable animals are the most popular pets in the United States–37% of American households have at least one cat. Whether it is your gentle purr or your disarming appearance, you make a wonderful kitten.

You were almost a: Bear Cub or a Monkey
You are least like a: Chipmunk or a DucklingWhat Cute Animal Are You?

Regulating Reincarnation

Funny tidbit

In the current issue (17 January 2008) of the New York Review of Books, Pankaj Mishra writes about dissenters in Tibet. In “The Quiet Heroes of Tibet”, the Dalai Lama plays a big role, especially with respect to “the extreme Chinese distrust of the Dalai Lama”. Mishra tells us (p. 40) that:

In August this year, the officially atheist Chinese regime passed legislation effectively banning Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission.

found on Language Log