Syd Blakovich, “MMA fighter and queer pornstar extraordinaire” talks about rough sex on Fleshbot
I think that rough sex can come from a really sweet and loving place and not necessarily from anger. I personally don’t think at this time in my life I would have rough sex with someone who I was really upset with. Although I definitely had this happen, where sex became a means of expressing anger or upset, emotional landscapes tend to play out everywhere. Sometimes it’s really hot and perfect, but sometimes it’s inappropriate. You have to be really on it and decide when it’s good for you and your partner. I think sex is a communication between people and can be a mixture of feelings and thoughts, but should also be an open space for each person to contribute to in their own way whether it be taking a pounding or biting or whatever. There should be something in it for each party, like you are giving each other really awesome gifts! Sex is a vehicle for dialog. I can say “I love you” through fisting, but you can also say a lot of things. I think the way we often look at sex is very limiting at times and sometimes the best way to understand it is to keep an open mind and try things while also really understanding your own body and mind.